Saturday, April 16, 2011

Twitter Mahabharat (140 characters or less)

By Rajiv Nema · Monday, May 18, 2009
Lot of sex, any1s dad unknon, 5bros hv 1wyf but 100kuzns want her. They fite. Krishna is w/ 5; sez do ur duty-dont wory bout rezlt. 5+K win.

Twitter Ramayan (140 characters or less)

By Rajiv Nema · Monday, May 18, 2009

King of A sent son R1 2 4est w/ wyf S. Baddie R2 kidnapd S. R1 defeatd R2 w/ hlp of munky H. R1, S retrn 2A. Diwali. R1 king.

As I sit in the church.......

The Hindu me and my Catholic wife are tolerant to each other's religions and support each other by going to temples, churches and participating in occasional religious activities. I am sure my wife gets all kinds of thoughts in the Hindu surroundings including the "guru" whose feet her husband is touching needs a serious 'pedicure' but she doesn't tell me everything going through her brain.
Here is what goes through my Hindu / Indori / indian mind in the Catholic surroundings:
  • the 'HOPE' sign reads 'POHE' to me (especially torturing as we go to mass empty stomach) 
  • I see all the clothes in front of me and only thing I can think is if they were all hung on hangers, will make a nice GOODWILL STORE
  • as we wish "may peas and carrots be with you", I am thinking of nice 'mattar-paneer sabji' waiting at home
  • as the priest raises the 'holy bread' (which is really a tortilla - so, 'was jesus mexican....?' is another thought i wander off to) I wonder where I can get that kind of 'chapati maker' to make them perfectly round
  • there is a nice fantasy game I play, pick 1-2 people every Sunday and based on their back side "imagine their faces" 
(to be continued)